During the wedding rehearsal, I typically start with asking each person there to introduce themselves and state who they are and how they are related or know the bride and groom, as well as how long they’ve known each other. Many times, the bridal party will say things like, “I’ve known the bride since high school” or “I’ve known the groom since college”. However, there are those moments when someone will say something like, “The bride and I are co-workers”.
Real Wedding Featured Here: MunaluchiBridal.com Photography by: Helene Cornell with PhotographyByHelene
When it comes to choosing your bridal party, I often have brides wanting to keep their bridal party members balanced on both sides, often resulting in having people “just for show in the wedding photos”. I always advise that things don’t have to be balanced; that the people standing by your side at your wedding should be people that love you, have had your back throughout the years, and will continue to do so. Every wedding is different and you don’t have to do what’s always been done. It should represent who the two of you are as a couple and what matters to you the most.
Real Wedding Featured here: MunaluchiBridal.com Photography by: Foreverday Photos
When choosing your bridal party, consider the following:
- Longevity: Who are your closest friends and family and who you’d call in the toughest and best of times. These are the people you should have standing by your side
- Obligation: Are you asking people to be in your bridal party because they’re members of the family and you feel some sense of obligation to include them, especially because your mother is asking you to? Were you in their wedding and now have to include them in yours? You simply don’t.
- Numbers: Are you asking people to be in your bridal party because you’re just wanting to keep 4 women on one side and 4 men on the other? You don’t have to. Your wedding photos will look amazing, even if both sides aren’t equal.
- Job Description: Consider the actual job description of Maid-of-Honor, Best Man, Bridesmaid, Groomsman, and Usher. When going through your repertoire of family and friends, determine who’s the best person for the job and if they’ll commit to it.
- Money: Can the people you want to ask to be in your wedding actually afford to be an attendant? Being in a wedding can be costly, from the attire, to traveling out of state, to some of the duties they’re responsible for. The costs can add up and many people aren’t able to swing it, no matter how much they’d love to.
Real Wedding Featured here: MunaluchiBridal.com Photography by Fotos By Fola
If you’re planning your wedding, don’t stress over choosing your bridal party. Sometimes you may not even need a bridal party; the two of you and the pastor is enough. Weddings are to be fun and your attendants should be those that will be there every step of the way, to help you enjoy the moment, lend support, and even snap you back into reality if you start to go astray. From choosing your bridal party to saying “I Do” you should enjoy the process of planning your perfect wedding day.
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About the Author
Lissahn DeVance
Lissahn is a Certified Wedding & Event planner, has planned weddings for nearly 10 years, and is currently completing courses to become a Certified Designer. She loves everything about weddings and the creative process. She feels no two people are alike so no two weddings…
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Oh yes, the money part. A wedding is expensive as it is so the last thing I need to hear is to fund my bridesmaids dresses. I’d rather have one bridesmaid.
I love all my gfs but I am thinking I should have asked another person who I am closer with because I feel like I left her out. Another thing I hate is that they didn’t speak up in terms of the financial aspect and that would have persuaded my decision in who to ask.