Before I Said I Do: I Had to Put in the Spiritual Work

Before I Said I Do is a new bi-weekly column dedicated to sharing stories and advice from women on how they prepared for married life. Meet our second featured wife: Christy Muhammad

Christy Muhammad knew within 5 minutes of speaking to her future husband, Robert Muhammad, that he was ‘The One’. A very spiritual woman, 46-year-old Christy had prayed for the qualities that attracted her spouse, so when he came along it didn’t take long to recognize the connection and compatability. It’s been just 3 years since their intimate ceremony among family and friends, yet she has a lot to share on preparing yourself for not only the joys of marriage but the tests as well.

A blended family, the couple makes their home in Wilmington, Delaware. Check out how Christy has adjusted to married life in a new state and how she used her years as a single woman to her advantage.

Briefly describe yourself.

I'm currently employed by the State of Delaware as a Judicial Case Manager II for the New Castle County Family Court. I am a wife, and mother of two biological children and three stepchildren. I enjoy sharing love to those that are less fortunate. I also enjoy traveling, listening to music, and being outdoors.

When did you get married? If you had a ceremony, briefly describe your big day.

I was married on October 1, 2011. My day was a full day of relaxation and reflection on all that I would be leaving behind physically. After the ceremony, the next day, I began my new journey as a married woman by traveling from Louisiana to Delaware. What an experience and change that took place. The venue was full of people and the colors were very warm and comforting. Fuchsia, brown, ivory and gold were my fall colors.

What are some things you did to prepare for marriage? How was it helpful?

Preparation for my marriage was making sure all my finances were in order due to the fact that I was relocating to another state. Spiritual preparation began before I ever met the man I was to marry. Since spirituality plays an important part in the selection of a mate on the males part, it plays an important part in the decision making for women. By not focusing on getting or being married, it afforded me the opportunity to partake in the things that mattered the most to me and that was going back to school, creating a loving and peaceful environment, daily exercise, zumba classes, study of self and Allah (God).

What books would you recommend for a bride-to-be?

The books I would recommend for a bride-to-be would be:
"Beautiful in God's Eyes: Proverb 31 Woman" by Elizabeth George
"Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian
"Real Love" and "Naturally Beautiful" by Dr. Ava Muhammad.

What was one of the biggest challenges when transitioning into married life? Did you receive any helpful advice?

Transitioning into married life was challenging because you begin to share your space with someone of the opposite sex. When deciding to get married, you must must be ready to deal with someone else's shortcoming. Understanding the number sequence in life and that the number 3 represent the number of trial and when year 3 is approaching prepare yourself for the intensity of the trials and test that will come during that time. Everything struggles in its infancy, just as the sperm makes its journey upward to meet the egg, that's a challenge. That's like the baby coming to birth through the birth canal, that's a challenge - likewise, with a marriage! Remaining in the marriage when the trials and tests come is a challenge within itself. Remembering that hard trials are necessary gives me comfort in knowing that disappointments will come, dissatisfaction will come, getting angry and upset will come, but by staying the course you see the good days will definitely outweigh the bad days.

What attracted you to your husband? How did you know he was 'The One'?

The prayer that I prayed, attracted me to my husband. He didn't know what I prayed for when I made my supplication known to Allah (God), however, I knew when I spoke with him within 5 minutes of the conversation that he was 'The One'.

What advice, tips, or suggestions would you give to brides-to-be or women seeking to be married one day?

Prepare yourself for marriage. Preparation and presentation are crucial when your desires in life are to be married. In the word presentation, you have the "pre-sent". You must prepare yourself to be "presented" to your husband, because you are the gift. Keep yourself tightly wrapped not giving any man a glimpse of what Allah (God) has blessed you with until he has completed all requirements concluding with putting a ring on it and saying "I do".

[divider] Before I Said I Do is a new bi-weekly column dedicated to sharing stories and advice from women on how they prepared for married life. Take a look at our previous feature with wife and mother of two, Trenae V. Nuri. Interested in being featured for this column? Email:

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