3 Reasons Why He’s Afraid to Get Married

As a newlywed I often get asked from other men about the chronicles of married life, especially from those who are contemplating taking a similar step in their relationships. These men are usually at a crossroads in which they are with someone they care deeply about and a major decision must be made soon regarding the future. It’s not that these men don’t want to get married but there are some concerns that hold them back from walking down the aisle. Based on my conversations and observations, here are 3 reasons why he’s afraid to get married.

Fear of the unknown

A lot of men have great uncertainties of what their futures will look like once they get married. There are so many factors that contribute towards having a fear of the unknown. Some believe that their freedom and manhood will suddenly disappear once they tie the knot. Other have expressed concerns that once the marriage occurs, the relationship may drastically change. Change is a hard thing for a lot of people especially if the change is supposed to last for the rest of your life.

What you can do: Have conversations and create a plan for the future with your partner. Too many times there is a great emphasis on the actual pomp and circumstance of a wedding without discussing the actual marriage itself. Everything needs to be put out on the table about the expectations for both sides moving forward.

Money

Money is often the elephant in the room and a major factor why some men do not want to move forward. There is so much false information out there from the price of the engagement rings to the actual cost of the wedding. If you know nothing about the wedding industry, the entire process can be very intimidating. Prices for wedding related items are already inflated and often the uninformed get taken advantage of.

What you can do: Help educate your partner about the wedding process. Take him with you to examine engagement rings. This will help him learn your ring style and as a result discover the realistic cost of a quality ring that you will actually like. So much emphasis is put on size and carats but the ring that fits your style best may not be the most expensive. Bigger is not always better. I also find nothing wrong casually discussing how much your ideal wedding may actually cost. Discussing these items ahead of time does not make the moment any less special.

Bad Advice

There is a lot of poor advice floating around which creates an environment of myths, lies, and misconceptions. The main mistake some men make is that they listen to too many individuals that know nothing about what it means to have a healthy relationship.

What you can do: Communication, Communication, Communication. Unfortunately while you cannot control whether someone accepts poor advice, you can create an atmosphere in which your partner feels comfortable enough to have conversations about difficult issues. The ability to problem solve and have discussions will help limit the amount of advice one seeks.

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