Our Issue 32 cover couple, Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko, began their fairytale romance on Season 20 of ABC’s hit reality TV show, The Bachelorette.
With Bachelor Nation tuning in every Monday night to watch Charity’s journey to find love, it didn’t take long for Dotun to be recognized as a top contender.
Emerging from the limo at 6’7” as one of the tallest men to arrive at the mansion, Dotun’s height certainly helped him stand out. But for Charity, his confidence is what first caught her eye.
“Obviously, the first interaction was him getting out of the limo,” Charity recalls. “I was like, ‘Oh my goodness. He’s super tall.’ Of course, he was hot. But there was this distinct level of confidence that Dotun had. He’s just a very secure guy. And I hadn’t even had a conversation with him yet.”
On The Bachelorette, those first interactions out of the limo are everything. They can make or break a connection just like in the real world. And with Dotun being one of the last hopeful suitors to meet Charity, his speech was even more important. Luckily, his words left a lasting impression.
“He didn’t come out doing a gimmick or anything that was crazy or weird,” Charity shares. “He just spoke from his heart. I knew he was a person of intention and he really possessed that.”
Dotun’s first impression was, ironically, quite the opposite.
After finding out who would be the Bachelorette the day before filming, he reveals, “I did a quick Instagram check, I thought she’s probably average height. And I come on and see she’s so petite.”
In fact, Charity is only 5’3 ½” tall! However, a height-gap relationship wasn’t a problem. Dotun was quickly enamored by Charity’s charisma, kindness, and of course, her beauty.
“It’s not fair how beautiful she is,” he admits, smiling. “Then her eyes. Her eyes are so expressive and she makes intense eye contact with you.”
Standing on the steps of the Bachelor Mansion, looking deeply into each other’s souls, Dotun had no idea he would be the lucky man to hold Charity’s gaze for a lifetime. But he was hopeful.
This was just the beginning of their love story.
Over the course of the season, we watched Charity and Dotun grow in love and understanding as they navigated cultural differences together. Some of the most moving moments were their discussions surrounding culture, identity, and family.
Dotun, who immigrated to the United States with his family from Nigeria when he was 4 years old, proudly shared his Nigerian roots with Charity early on.
“The moment I talked to her and I opened up about my immigration card, which is so meaningful to me, she received it so well…. That was a turning point for me to then lean into [our relationship] fully because she was worth it.”
Charity was moved by his vulnerability and opened up about her own upbringing in Columbus, Georgia, where there were not many other kids who looked like her.
Fueled by compassion and curiosity, the two critical components needed to nurture an intercultural union, Charity and Dotun accepted each other fully.
By Hometowns and after meeting Dotun’s family, Charity admits, “…our bond at that point was just so much in a league of its own.”
With an open heart and an open mind, they fell in love, and on April 30th, 2023, Dotun proposed in Fiji. Charity exclaimed “Yes!” and Dotun happily accepted her final rose. The couple (who had already been engaged for 3 months before the finale aired), began a whirlwind romance in public for the first time.
From Charity competing on Dancing with the Stars to living in Los Angeles together during filming and now cohabitating in a cozy New York City apartment, they’ve gone strength to strength in every phase of their relationship.
This year, on April 30th, 2024, Charity and Dotun celebrated their one-year anniversary – a rare milestone in the franchise’s history, and are excitedly looking ahead to their nuptials.
To celebrate, we invited Charity and Dotun to the luxurious Spice Island Beach Resort in Grenada for an exclusive MunaLuchi cover shoot.
Under the creative direction of Jacqueline Nwobu, the Muna Team created magic from sunrise to sunset with the couple posing before vibrant tropical backdrops and exchanging laughs and steamy glances in every frame.
Gani Shittu of House of Simiraj carefully curated Charity’s looks which consisted of modern and chic bridal-inspired attire, sexy swimwear, and a Nigerian traditional gown (custom-made and shipped straight from Nigeria!). Dotun also wore a custom agbádá from Nigeria. His sleek suiting looks were designed, tailored, and styled by Ilbert Sanchez of Garçon Couture.
With styling assistance from Rachelle Teart, luxe hairstyles created by Tinika Sadiku, and glam makeup by Felicia Graham Beauty, the couple looked gorgeous and photo-ready at all times.
Shagari Gerard Photography and Collins Camp of Studio87Media expertly snapped all the details with Mike Okafor Films and Roseline Conteh capturing video and BTS content.
Sitting down to speak with Charity and Dotun after the photo shoot, their immense gratitude for the entire experience stood out to me.
With so many opportunities in the wake of The Bachelorette, one would think this is just another appearance. Just another day in the life of a celebrity couple. However, for Charity and Dotun, this shoot holds a special place in their hearts.
Dotun reveals, “In the past year of all the craziness, to me, this photo shoot is the most meaningful thing that I’ve done. Because of this team, first and foremost. So many good people. Everybody is great. I’m a sucker for a good soul. And when they’re Black, it’s a wrap.”
“I feel a lot of times everything is just smile and wave,” he adds, “but this actually means so much to me. It was shown in the way that y’all came through with the fits. Even the Nigerian looks, the outfits straight from Nigeria, no fake stuff that people just got on Amazon. You guys truly got it right.”
Charity echoed her husband-to-be: “You guys are amazing. Don’t be surprised if we’re like, ‘All right, Fall 2025. We need everybody back again. Clear the schedule, please.’”
Keep reading for our exclusive interview with Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko on everything from their fateful beginnings on The Bachelorette (which almost didn’t happen!), to navigating cultural differences and their future wedding plans.
Cheers to the future Mr. and Mrs. Olubeko!
*This interview was first featured in Issue 32; it has been lightly edited for the blog.
Let’s start at the beginning; your love story almost didn’t happen. Dotun, can you share some background on how you got on the show?
Dotun: Part of our story is that this was all meant to be because of how it all happened.
I actually hated reality TV and daily shows before going on. What happened was usually people are casted six months to nine months before the season starts filming. It’s this long process. Then two weeks before they started filming, I think someone may have dropped out, and the casting agent was looking to fill that position.
My roommate at the time happened to know somebody who was approached by a casting agent to do the show, but they were already in a relationship. Then a friend of his asked, “Could I do it?” And she said, “No. You don’t fit the bill.” He’s a small guy.
They were looking for height?
Dotun: Exactly. They’re looking for very specific things.
So he said, “All right. Let me see if I can find someone to do it for you.” Then he hit me up. Mind you, I don’t know this person at all, but he was friends with my roommate and we went to college together.
He reached out in a dead group chat that I’m in and wrote, “Hey, I’m looking for someone who has this, this, and this?” And then my roommate called me immediately. He said, “Hey, do you want to go on The Bachelorette?” I thought he was kidding. I remember it like yesterday. It’s so vivid because it was two o’clock and I was just working from home.
After that, he texted me, but he always plays jokes, so I was like, “He must be being stupid.” I sent him some pictures and then within an hour, a casting agent reached out to me and she said, “Hey, we’d love to set up an interview.”
I reached back out to my friend and said, “Hey, is this for real?” He’s like, “Yeah, man.” He told me the whole story. So I had two weeks to get all of that done.
By the end, I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it.
Eventually, I was just like, ‘Fine. I’ll have some fun. Have a nice break from work.’ Then the day before flying out, I woke up being like, ‘No, I can’t do this.’ It’s too much of a risk. My job, they weren’t really on board at the time.
Well, it just wasn’t me. But the way that things kept working out, there were so many different times when it shouldn’t have worked out and it did work out. I called my mom and I was like, “Mom, I don’t want to do this show.”
She was like, “I don’t want you to do it either, but life always likes to put you in these positions and that’s where you shine. So I think you should do it.”
That was when I was like, “You know what? Let me go for it.” That’s how I got on the show and I flew out the next day.
It’s almost like it was fate.
Charity: Exactly. We always say that.
Dotun: 100%. There’s no way, the way that things were getting worked out… Little instances and you’re like, “Huh.” I like to listen to that voice. I feel like it’s done me well and it did me well again.
When did you both know you found “the one” on the show? And then after you transitioned into the “real world,” how was that period?
Charity: It was three months between the finale and when we wrapped up our proposal until our finale aired. I knew Dotun was the one I’d have to say at Hometowns. Hometown’s 100% I think solidified it.
Obviously, it’s taboo to answer this question because people are like, “Why did you go on with the show?” But you have to at some point. Then with all the emotions that come, there’s a lot of things that you try to reason and figure everything out. But without a doubt, he was the first person I said I was falling in love with. I think I told him I love you first.
After meeting his family, our bond at that point was just so much in a league of its own, and it was crazy. But it was extremely electrifying and powerful. Honestly, I couldn’t really comprehend it. I just knew in my body, again… I would tell him after our dates… and I got these universal signs.
I’m a believer of angel numbers and stuff. So on our way to a lot of our dates or even just to dinner, I would see an angel number confirming that I’m in the right place. This is my person almost. And just like our conversations, they were so in-depth. We didn’t really miss any beat on the show. We were both just so in sync. I was like, “This makes the most sense.” And you really are, I believe, the person that’s for me.
How did you know Charity was the one for you?
Dotun: I mean, it started off rocky because I didn’t get to talk to her night one.
And it took up to two weeks until I got to talk to her and I was regretting going on the show. The moment I talked to her and opened up about my immigration card, which is so meaningful to me, she received it so well. I was like, “Okay.” That was a turning point for me to then lean into it fully because she was worth it.
As we had conversations, they started to transcend the TV show. It wasn’t just about TV. What we were talking about was really real.
And I would say I was pretty locked in. I meditated a lot during filming because you kind of have to. You have so much time on your hands. I knew that around Hometowns, how that went so well, I was like, “Holy crap. There’s a very good chance.” At that point, you’re still with the boys and having fun. But then at that point, it’s very serious.
The Hometowns went so well. And as I said, I didn’t expect that. Growing up in a Nigerian household, they don’t expect your son to find love on TV. They’re like, “What the hell?” For them to love Charity and for them to all say that they did… I felt what I felt. But then they all were like, “I’ve never seen you like this. This is something that brings it out of you.”
Each and every one of them, they’re always going to do that with me. They’re not going to say anything just for TV. They pulled me aside and said the same thing with cameras off. That was huge for me. I was like, “Oh my God.” Even from the outside, not that I needed that validation, but when you get it, you go, “Okay, my feelings are confirmed. It’s for real. It’s not just me being in this environment.” For me, I think that’s when I was like, “Okay. I think I’m ready for her to be the one.” And I just took it in and as signs to continue to say yes.
Charity: Then to answer the second part, in real life, obviously, making that transition was a lot.
I think people sometimes underestimate or maybe not, I think they know, obviously, with the stats of the show. It’s a big transition. But we had our proposal and went straight into Dancing with the Stars.
I think I was very hesitant even about doing the show just because I knew there was so much that we needed to nurture in our relationship. And I was like, I don’t really want to jeopardize our relationship because I took it so serious for an opportunity. But he was so supportive. When I say I was the one that was doubting and he was like, “Do this. I’m going to be with you every single step of the way.”
Just the way he supported me but also our communication styles outside of the show still was very much… I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s just we’re always blown away with how we handle things that are a little rocky or things that are a lot for us to navigate.
And he’s so gentle, he’s so patient. I just think that was a huge telltale sign. But also when the cameras are off, we like to cut up. So I think our goofiness, seeing that our goofiness is literally the exact same.
And I always tell people I do have a presence when I’m doing things and I’m putting my best foot forward, but deep down, I’m truly such a kid. And he sees that and he brings it out of me. But the way that our energies just match, this is a dream.
Because I was a little nervous. I’m like, “He’s going to see something and be like, ‘I made the wrong choice. I got the ick from this girl.'” But it has not. I think if anything, it’s definitely brought us so much closer.
Dotun: That’s always the risk.
I always say that… Even sometimes you can make it to the end and pick the best person, but it’s still such a small chance of it working out. What are the chances that person is compatible with you?
I remember after the proposal, we have three days to just hang out right after. No cameras or any filming. Just hang out in this beautiful villa. I remember sitting there after the proposal and taking my socks off and I was like, “Okay. Best stage is done, but now it’s going to get real.”
Because we’re so serious in that environment. You’re so serious. You only have limited time. So you have to talk about things. But she said, “There’s this whole other area of who I am. I’m very lighthearted, I’m very goofy, very stupid.” I was like, “I hope that that’s there too, because that’s important for me, too.”
Then we wasted no time. We had visits while we were in hiding, they’d be every couple weeks to meet up in secret, like hat, glasses, that kind of thing in the airport.
Charity: It was crazy. It’s hard to disguise him because he’s so tall.
Dotun: Somehow, I didn’t get caught, but I should have. I was always so nervous. Hat, hoodie, glasses. Then we had our first meeting. I just remember Charity’s laugh. All over through the house. It just came out and I was like, “Okay. That’s the one.”
Charity: That’s crazy.
Dotun: But that’s most of what we’re doing. Ever since that, that’s when I knew. We started having moments like that. She’s stupid like me.
Charity: I am. I am.
Dotun: That’s when I knew.
What have you guys discovered about each other since the show?
Charity: We all have our things that we do.
But I will say a good thing about him that I didn’t get to see as much on the show is that he’s just a very independent person and he is very spontaneous in a good way. He just likes to do his own thing and loves to explore. I saw that come out a lot after the show. I was like, “Okay. He has a little adventure in him.” And I like that because that’s always a good element to have in a relationship because I think it’s a little bit… I don’t wanna say the opposite of me, but it takes someone to pull that out of me. I’m not someone who’s naturally going to do that on my own. Knowing that I can live this life and that’s something that I can grow into myself with him is nice.
Dotun: Charity is a ball of energy.
She has energy that can’t be contained and it has to be released. Usually, she’ll be moving her legs really quickly–
Charity: Very sporadic spastic.
Dotun: –It’s like energy is just being absorbed and it’s too much and she’s just got to let it go. She’s just kicking her legs, screaming. Things have to come out. Basically, I was like, “Okay.” Because when we’re filming, we’re just having these conversations, we’re all serious.
How do you solve conflict and what are some conflicts that you have experienced or overcome together in your relationship so far?
Charity: Like I said, our communication style is really, really good.
I’m extremely blessed for that because I think I have experienced not the best conflict resolution skills growing up, even in my family, but also in relationships that I’ve been in.
Seeing how we communicate has been just a breath of fresh air. But also, for me, it’s something that I’m having to get used to because it’s not familiar territory for me. But he’s just really patient. We never raise our voices at each other. We’re usually on the same page about a lot of things. We just don’t sweep anything under the rug. We talk it all out.
The biggest thing that he always says is ‘get to the root of what is causing this’ or ‘where is this coming from.’ We’re really patient with trying to explore all of the avenues of everything. Again, it’s just a big blessing and it’s really good. I would say our conflict resolution has been one of the cornerstones, I feel, of just our relationship and how we have sustained it to this point. And I’m really grateful for it.
Dotun: I’ll say one thing that we’ve had to work around definitely is getting ready and the time differences.
We’re both kind of, not last minute, but usually a few minutes late. Then one thing, for me, because I know she has to do makeup and all these other things, so I’ll just be chilling.
I feel it’s pretty common, right? Guys just chill. I know what I need to do so I plan it out. I’m just chilling. Then to her, it’s this weird time of, “Hey, come on. We should be getting ready.” But I’m like, “I know. I have it mapped out in terms of how long it’s going to take me so when you’re done, then I’m done too, and then we both head out.” That’s one thing we had to work around.
Charity: I’m very anxious.
Dotun: We’ve had to work around that in terms of how we communicate that to each other. Because initially, for me, I’m like, “Wait.” I’m in Lalaland. “What’s the issue?” I’ve had to learn about the anxious energy and how to work with her. She’s had to work with me too in terms of… I’m like, “What am I doing wrong?” I’m like, “Stop pressing me.” I’ve also had to work on being more patient in that way and understanding who she is.
It’s still somewhat a work in progress, but luckily, we’ve made a ton of progress from when it first started happening to now. It’s a lot better. Even this morning, she’s like, “Hey, Dotun, get ready.” And I’m still back there. I know she’s doing makeup so I’m just lying down. I’m like, “Okay.” I think, four months ago, I would’ve just laid in bed. But I was like, “Let me get up…” Even though I know I’m going to be done earlier, “Let me get up.” We’re just trying to find that balance and make things work.
Charity: And I’ve learned to only ask once, not 18 times.
Of all the issues you could have, that’s really not that bad.
Charity: Listen, I’m telling you, we are very fortunate. It’s more just a learning curve of once you’re living together, that’s normal in a lot of couples. But the way we handle them has been the reason why we’ve been able to get past them.
Dotun: We go to therapy, too. We were fortunate enough to have the show give us therapy sessions. We got lucky with Russ. Shout out Russ. Awesome, awesome therapist. Love that guy. We’re still doing it today. We started when nothing was wrong and it helps just to talk through things and just have a space to do that.
That’s great. I feel everyone should go to therapy. It’s fantastic.
Charity: I’m telling you.
Dotun: It should be a part of life.
Charity: It’s a blessing.
How soon is too soon to go to couples therapy?
Charity: Never.
I always say I mean, obviously, if you just started dating then no, but in our case… We dated very fast. It was speed dating so we’re still trying to get to know each other. But even in the real world, I feel as soon as possible. Because it’s more so getting ahead of the thing so when you have a problem, you already have these skills that you can utilize in those conflicts or in those situations to get through them rather than waiting until something is so bad and now you’re having to try to fix it and put screws and stuff. It’s more proactive. It’s all this stuff that we’re just trying to get ahead of for the future. But now we know how to handle them if we get to that point.
Dotun: I think there’s two things that therapy does and why anyone should do it at any time.
First of all, it’s a space to talk about things. And I find myself being able to talk about things that are on my chest more easily in that space because that’s what it’s created for. Therapy gives you that space to be raw and honest. And both people have an understanding that it’s not personal. We’re trying to work through this. It also gives you a mediator. Someone who’s in the middle because we’re both going to think we’re right and that causes more issues. So to have someone who can be the middle man is very, very helpful. For those two reasons, no matter where you are, in a relationship or not, it can be extremely helpful.
What do you love most about each other?
Dotun: I know the big one off my head, which is why I was getting a little emotional today. I have never felt more loved by anyone than I have in this past year.
When I think about past relationships, and I had some that lasted three, four years, no one has ever given me more love than this lady right here. The capacity is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. That’s just so rare to find. And it’s a double-edged sword. Because she gives so much of herself but I just do my best to never, ever take advantage of that. Consciously, subconsciously, never, ever. And honor the love that she possesses. Because It’s really special, it’s really unique.
That’s what sold me. I knew it off the bat. She just puts her whole heart into what’s in front of her. That’s why she also connected with other people on the show because she has that ability. But I knew that once she was mine, then I would get all of that. I felt that for the past year or so. To me, that’s just the greatest thing. This girl just loves me. I don’t feel I deserve it all the time, but she just does. I just so much appreciate that.
Charity: That is very sweet. So sweet. Thank you. I think for me, there’s a whole bunch.
But if we’re talking about one thing in how to sum up who Dotun is, I don’t think I can. But I like to describe him as someone who’s very selfless. And that’s a trait that I see show up every single day even in ways that’s not as obvious.
At least for me, in our relationship, the way that he is constantly looking out for me in ways that I don’t even think I do for myself at times, even just health, things like that, or just how he loves on me in different ways, it’s so beautiful. He’s so loyal and respectful. That is just a huge thing for me in my life and the things that I’ve been through. Patient. He’s very understanding, which I love. Really understanding.
He has an ability to be able to put aside the things that maybe sometimes even he wants to say, but out of love, again, or out of respect for me, he’s like, “Okay. I can reason with you here. I can understand you here.”
What we both share together is that we have a lot of compassion. He’s a very loving person. He loves big, works hard, and does so much for people in his life. I have seen that through and through every single day.
Even on, I don’t want to say our worst days, it’s just I don’t consider any day worse, but even on days that are not as great… He’s still someone who I see forever with. I just want to always be loved by this person and I will always love him.
How is life in New York since the big move from LA?
Dotun: Life in New York is good.
Before the show… I should say I’ve never technically lived outside of New York. But after the show, while she was on Dancing with the Stars, we went to LA. So essentially, we lived in LA for those three, or four months. Then I slowly convinced her to come to New York and she did it. It’s been good. It’s been great. I mean, it’s busy and in some ways, we haven’t even really gotten to explore because we have just been moving around a lot. Her more than me, because she has all these other opportunities and obligations that she has to do.
But it’s been good. Our area is good. It’s treated us well. Our home, thanks to her mostly, feels so homey. Where I lived before, it didn’t feel homey. It was just a place. I think that’s really hard to get in New York, is a place that feels like home. Again, one of those divine things where we decided to move to New York and didn’t even have a place because we were so busy.
Charity: Literally, four days before we had to be there. It was crazy.
Dotun: We started looking four days before and then found one. And it all worked out.
The place ended up being beautiful. We didn’t even get to see it in person before. We had to take a virtual tour. So even in that way, it’s been a blessing. New York is wild. It’s a wild place, wild city.
Charity: It’s all a party.
Dotun: My brother’s warming up to it now.
Charity: The outside.
Dotun: The crazy outside and we love that. We love mess. We love people-watching.
Charity: Chaos. Truly, we’ll just walk out and be like, “Let’s just go hit the corner.”
Dotun: I would tell her don’t make eye contact. Use your peripherals.
Charity: I’ve learned that. Not to make eye contact in New York. It’s hard.
Dotun: You don’t want to activate the crazy. You just want to be around it and enjoy it.
Charity: Well, I’m crazy, too.
Dotun: Exactly. It’s been fun. Taking the subway. I’ll say this, I’m proud of her because New York is a hard place to live.
You have to be rugged, you have to be down, you have to be prepared to step in dog shit. If you are not down for that, you’re going to be miserable. There’s some people who just came to New York and there’s things that you have to get over.
If you’re a germaphobe or anything like that. Those are things that she’s gotten over and she’s totally embraced it. And she gets better and better. The weather. We moved in the winter so it was cold. It wasn’t prime time to move. There was an adjustment period but I think she’s done very well. For me, I’m used to it. I can enjoy every day as it comes. But I think she’s now in full stream of New York life so it’s been good.
Charity: I absolutely love it.
Obviously, me coming from the south, it was a big adjustment. Like not having my car. But like he said, “You adapt to New York life.” I love going to Costco, buying in bulk, and getting my groceries for the month. Now you got to go to the grocery store every two weeks. Or not even that, twice a week, only carrying enough. That has just been different for me and I’m getting used to it. Then, obviously, space. Space is non-existent in New York. But like he said, our place is so homey and it’s in a perfect spot.
I just love the city life. It gives me, I don’t want to say motivation, but it’s just that everyone in New York is on a mission and they move with purpose. And I’m like, “That’s me.” At my core, I love doing things with purpose. It’s been a lot of fun. Obviously, now that things are slowing down, we’re going to be still going here and there. But now that summer’s coming, everyone’s going to be outside. I’m so looking forward to having a summer in New York City and just living life.
Dotun: I’ll say, for the record, I was always like, “We can go anywhere. I will actually go wherever you want to go.”
But through filming, I was seeing all these things… she was so adventurous. Jet skis, going fast. That’s where I was like, “I feel New York would be good.” But then as you start to get to know each other after the show, then you learn more things. She has some anxious tendencies.
And then I started feeling guilty. I was like, “I hope New York doesn’t mess things up. Hopefully, it’s not going to be miserable,” and I felt bad. But that’s why I’m saying I’m proud of her because despite these new things that I learned about her… If I had known those things, I may not have tried to push New York as much. But I’m just proud of her for embracing it.
Charity: It was actually a big conversation.
When he met my parents, my dad was like, “Are you coming down to Georgia or North Carolina?” And Dotun was like, “No.” He was being open. But I knew in his heart, too, he had only been in New York at that point for a year and a half. I always wanted to go to New York but I don’t think I would’ve ever done it by myself. And then I was like, “I don’t really want to have a roommate.” But now that it’s my fiance, it makes sense.
I definitely have adapted. And I think New York is a growing experience for me. So the things that he knew I was probably going to struggle with, like he said, him being proud of me, it’s been things that I’ve grown in. I want to continue to put myself in these positions that I’m not familiar with so that I can grow from them.
You can always move in the future, too.
Charity: That’s what I’m saying. We’re not raising kids in New York. I think it’s a really good stage for now. But after the wedding, we’ll probably figure out where we want to establish our roots.
Dotun: We love experiencing life. It’s cool that we both lived in one of the biggest cities, if not the biggest in the world. We’re young, we can move. So let’s enjoy it now.
What is a typical day for you both when you’re together?
Dotun: We’re together all the time because I work from home. So we’re literally together 24/7.
Charity: We need space sometimes.
Dotun: Definitely. Everybody does. It’s been good though. Because I work remote, I’m very fortunate I don’t have to be in the office at a certain time. I do go to bed late, wake up around between 9:00 and 10:00 maybe. Sometimes even later if I had a really late night. I have trouble sleeping, I have insomnia. Then I’ll go for a walk. She’ll get breakfast. I’ll make her breakfast. If I have a Zoom meeting or two, then I get in my own meetings. But we’re always in the same place pretty much and we just dip out. I go for walks a lot. That’s how I clear my head.
Charity: I’ve been venturing out into the city more during the day. Before, we were just literally always together and I’m like, “Okay.” I think we were starting to hit heads a little bit. But I was like, “Maybe some space would be great.” So I would go in the city, he would work, or vice versa. He every now and then pops into a coffee shop to do some work. It’s just we’ve found our balance. I’m, obviously, not working, but I’m doing work for other stuff. I’ll have meetings here and there, and then my day just consists of exploring the city.
Dotun: It’s not super exciting, the day-to-day, but when you live in New York, you get opportunities. We have a beautiful place, which is cool and it’s very comfortable, and then on the weekend, Friday, Saturday, we get dressed up and we have fun.
What are your love languages as individuals and for each other?
Charity: For me, what I need the most is words of affirmation. That’s my big one.
Dotun has done really well at that. Of course, everyone has room to grow. We talked about it a lot in counseling. He has, I feel has done great. And for what he needs or how I give love, I feel is physical touch and acts of service. I love doing things and helping out. If he cooks then I’ll clean the dishes and vice versa.
Dotun: Mine were acts of service and physical touch.
Those are two big ones for me. I think she does excellent in those. Charity is very service-oriented. For me, growing up Nigerian and African, there’s not a lot of praise, not a lot of, “Hey, good job,” pats on the back.
Charity: Which is why I need it. We come from the same. I need that.
Dotun: Exactly. But that’s also why, like she said, I have things to improve there because that’s just how I grew up. In my culture, until you’re elite, nothing else matters. That’s something I’m definitely trying to work on. It doesn’t need to be elite. It can just be good and that’s good enough.
This one’s for Charity. Recently on Instagram, I noticed you talked about your elective breast enhancement surgery. Was that something you always wanted to do? And how did you support her in that, Dotun?
Charity: Definitely was something that I was a little reluctant to share on social media, but I was like, “I’m a person of transparency.”
And obviously, it was an opportunity that I was able to get it done at the time. So I was like, “Why not?” I definitely wanted it for a long time. I wanted it very young. I would always talk to my mom and sister about it and they were like, “You’re too young. You just need to wait it out.” And definitely, I don’t want to say they were against it, but they were like, “You don’t really need it.” I know I don’t need anything. I did not need it, but I wanted it.
So I sat on the decision for, I want to say, at least 8 to 10 years, like a long time. Then, like I said, the opportunity came for me to do it and I was like, “You know what? I’m going to do something for me. It’s something that I, in my heart, always wanted to do.”
I talked to Dotun about it and he was completely on board.
I was scared because I was… Everyone has their views on cosmetic surgery or just implants and fillers and all that. But I’m like, it’s 2024. I’m so against telling people what they need to do with their body. It’s anyone’s choice. If you like it, I love it. That’s my motto. He was completely on board, which I was so thankful for.
Recovery was a breeze. He was there with me on surgery day, after, leading up to it. I mean, my experience was something that I personally would recommend to anybody. But obviously, for every single person, everybody’s body is different. Do your research. Because I knew it came with complications and risks or possible risks, so I can’t speak for everyone else. But for myself, I am just really grateful that this was a choice that I made and I would do it again. I really would.
Dotun: For me, there was no issue. I do think you have to be careful.
There’s some people when you go too far and you start changing who you are and that changes your mental health, I don’t think those people should be getting work done. But I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a female and beauty is just so much a part of life.
For guys, like I said, we don’t put on makeup. We just walk out the door and we’re fine. So I don’t know what it’s like. Just in terms of being empathetic and understanding where that can come from, it’s not like she was getting a BBL and doing all these things. Because she’s already beautiful. That’s where I would be, but I 100% support it more than anything. If that makes her happy, then great. It doesn’t really affect me. I mean, it does, but not in a bad way. I’m just like, well…
Charity: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Dotun: Go for it. She’s the one who kept asking me, “Are you sure?” I’m like, “Yeah. I don’t care.”
Charity: I did it in moderation. I was nervous about that. I was like, “We’ll start off small.” Because I’m obviously so small. I didn’t want it to be overpowering me. They were perfectly done.
Dotun: She’s like, “You hate it.” I’m like, “I just said I don’t care.” Two days later, “You don’t want me to get it.” I don’t know how many times I can say, “Let’s get it done.”
Charity: We did.
Dotun: We sure did.
Charity, do you have any specific advice for women who are thinking about having elective surgery?
Charity: Piggybacking off of what Dotun said, I’m a believer of doing things in moderation.
I think when it comes to beauty, it’s meant to enhance, not completely change. I would just say obviously, follow your heart, your gut. But please do your research, that is the most important.
There are a lot of complications and risks, which whoever your service provider is should be explaining these things to you. Do your research on a great doctor. My doctor had a holistic approach, which was really important for me because it wasn’t just about the surgery itself, it was about my overall health and wellness and my recovery after that. So that was really important to me.
I would say, for me, the biggest thing and the message that I was trying to send out was it’s about what you want, not out of fear of what other people are going to say or people disapproving your choice. Because you can do everything right and people still are going to have something to say and it may not be something you want to hear. At this point, live your life for the things that you want and make sure it’s the best choice for you.
That’s good advice. Going back to Dancing with the Stars, how was that experience? I saw you supporting in the audience, Dotun.
Charity: He was there for every single performance. And oh my goodness. When I think about Dancing with the Stars, it comes with so many feelings, honestly.
It was obviously an experience of a lifetime. Something that I am very grateful that I did because I know, looking back, I will probably never have an opportunity like that again.
Obviously, with Dotun’s encouragement and his help and support, definitely played the biggest role in that. But I will be honest, I feel when I hear people talk about Dancing with the Stars, they are not as honest with how their experience was. Quite frankly, it probably was the best thing. But when I say that this was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do in my entire life, I kid you not.
Mentally, physically, and emotionally, it was just a lot. I also give credit to maybe just the timing of it all. Maybe if I had [participated in] Dancing with the Stars now after I’ve been able to live life a little bit or have time to nurture our relationship… But because I came right off of Bachelorette… I had two weeks.
We came out as a public couple, announced our engagement. I had two weeks. In that time, I’m just trying to soak up everything. We’re just so happy to be able to go to the grocery store and not have to hide. I was trying to spend as much time with Dotun as I could.
Then I had to leave to go to LA to start rehearsal. That was, I think, already emotionally and mentally playing a toll in my head. I was like, “Oh my goodness.” The first week there, it was exciting, but it’s also in the back of my head, I was like, “Did I make the wrong choice?” I kept thinking, “Is this really what I want to do?”
Luckily, Dotun was able to come out to LA to stay with me.
That helped because I will say for anyone who’s doing Dancing with the Stars long distance, God speed. Because it’s a lot…Long distance would’ve been actual hell for us. He was able to come and that made things so much better. But even just the days…the days were so long. We’re rehearsing from four to six hours a day. And when you think about it, that’s primarily the biggest chunk of your day. It’s a full work day and you’re just on your feet all day.
It was hard. But apart from that, I mean, the show itself, it was good. The show days were really a lot of fun. Being able to work with the hair and makeup crew. Designing your costumes, that was really fun for me. I love the hands-on experience of that.
When it comes to the actual experience, there was a lot of highs and lows. I didn’t really have the best feedback from the fan base, which was a lot to take in and deal with. And obviously, Dotun had to support me a lot through that. It was a lot. It was a lot on just my mental and emotional state. Which sucks because I feel my experience was tainted to a certain point. Because I had to just tune out the outside noise. I’m trying to explain that in the best way without…
Dotun: Talking about racism.
Charity: It was just the fan base-
Dotun: Pretty straightforward.
Charity: Yeah. It was really hard.
I think my perception on this show was not who I was or how people viewed me on the show. But even then, anyone who knows me would just see this girl is really hardworking and she’s going to put her best foot forward. She wants to learn all these dance skills. She wants to improve her technique. She’s trying to push herself out of her comfort zone. But the reality is I dealt with a lot of racism. Just trying to navigate that the best way that I could and then having to explain that to my dance partner was a lot.
I’m so sorry… that’s very upsetting. You were amazing on the show.
Charity: No. It’s okay. Thank you.
Here at MunaLuchi, we are all about multicultural love and you both are the perfect example of two cultures (African American and Nigerian) coming together. Was this an easy union for you both? How have you navigated cultural differences together and what have you learned about each other’s backgrounds since filming?
Dotun: There’s definitely some differences. Cultural, in terms of Nigerian, but even just American, too.
She’s a southern gal. Her moving to LA was the first time leaving the South. An exposure to a major city in that way. I’m born in Nigeria, raised in California, but might as well be Nigeria number two because I go home and my parents are there. We come to a union and we have these fundamental similarities that brought us together, and we try to explore the things that make us different. Therapy’s been really helpful with that.
The big one is, again, obviously, having a Nigerian background, a lot of Nigerians know, it’s a much more strict culture and not a lot of pats on the back. I see it come out for me in terms of I don’t need any pats on the back. Almost never. Then I don’t really need words of affirmation. But Charity does. That’s hard for me to get at times because my expectations are already so high being a Nigerian person. I think that’s probably the major way how the differences come out.
But in a funny way, it’s also been similar.
I remember meeting her family and being like, “They remind me of my family.” Everybody is a character. Everybody in her family depicted my family almost in a parallel African southern universe. That’s actually really helpful, which was totally unexpected. Did not see that coming.
Her dad and my dad, they’re both yappers. Now they both have someone to yap to. They call each other and yap each other’s ears off, and it’s amazing. Our brothers and sisters are all stupid, goofy, and clown each other. So in a lot of ways, there’s been a lot of similarities that were unexpected.
I think undoubtedly, that’s always a risk. If you date outside of your culture, even if they’re Black, but if you’re still outside of the culture, that’s another step now of the level of understanding that’s required. But I think growing up in America helped me really balance it out. I didn’t take on everything cultural, I didn’t take on everything non-cultural, and I have a balance. I think that part helps me relate to her.
Charity: Dotun covered a lot of it. I talked about his level of independence and how he is as a person. I’m kind of different but I think I pay a lot of that credit to my family and my upbringing.
It’s just in the south, family units, we do literally everything together like family dinners. I’m sure in your country as well. But he was like, “You go to the grocery store with your mom?” I’m like, “Yeah.” My mom and my sister. We make a whole day out of it. We just do everything together in the South. It’s this big unit. Super close with my family. That has been something that he’s seeing a lot.
I’m on the phone all the time with my mom, I’m on the phone all the time with my sister. We’ll be on the phone literally for hours. We’ll just go about our day and they’re still on the phone. It’s something he saw and was not really used to. But also, again, his independence. I think, for me, I’m a little different. I don’t want to say codependent but I like to do things together and he’s like, “I’m fine doing things on my own.” Which I’m sure is how he was raised to be independent, strong-minded, strong-willed. Not to say that I’m not but it comes out a little different. That was the biggest thing I think I’ve seen and noticed.
But culturally, I would say the food. He has been feeding and eating, nothing ain’t good. He cooks so good. Not just Nigerian food but in general. But his mom will come over. I remember she visited us in LA and she brought a spread. It was insane. I’m like, “This lady, I love her to infinity and beyond, truly.”
Dotun: I’m going to be going to Georgia in a couple of weeks. I’ve been there a couple times, once or twice already.
Charity: But you haven’t had the food… we’re about to have a full southern cookout, which I’m so excited about! You got to get on the grill.
Dotun: That’s another good one for cultural differences.
Charity: For Christmas, I was like, “I need to get you a grill.”
Dotun: I was like, “A grill for what? That’s crazy.”
Charity: Chicken on the grill. Exactly what I mean.
Dotun: But for them, that’s like a man. A man gets home and grills. There’s this whole culture, I’m like, “That’s new to me.”
Charity: I was like, “You’re going to have the sandals, the hat.” Come on. It is a whole thing.
Dotun: I’ve never seen my dad on the grill. Not one time in my entire life.
Charity: Please. I was like, “Don’t worry about it, David Lawson will get you right.” But my dad is all about it. When he comes home with me in two weeks, he’s going to experience the whole cookout.
Dotun: I’m ready. I’m locked and loaded.
Looking ahead to your wedding, do you think you’ll be incorporating any cultural elements into your wedding(s)?
Charity: We are.
We’re planning to have a Nigerian wedding and are hoping to have it in Nigeria. Then we’re going to do an American traditional wedding and play influences to the South. So a Southern-themed kind of wedding just because of how I was raised. But his mom has been very hands-on, and I love her for it. Because she’s helping me learn about everything and incorporate everything.
Dotun: Like she said, we’re trying to have two.
It’s going to be a big push but I think we can make it work. One of them in Nigeria, one of them somewhere here in the States. Undecided yet. But for sure, regardless of what happens, listen, I don’t have a choice.
Charity: He doesn’t really.
Dotun: As it looks now, there’s a good chance that I might be the first one in our family to get married. Unless my brother beats me there. We’ll see. A good chance. I know my parents are gonna put their all into this already.
Charity: We’ll have traditional garments and everything.
Dotun: I mean, truly, my mom loves this lady so much. I know that she’s just ready to get her ingrained into the culture as well. It’s going to be a party. It’s going to be a good thing one way or another. But I do need one wedding that is more intimate…
Charity: That’s much smaller. Because it’s going to be a big guest list in Nigeria.
You could have a nice destination wedding.
Charity: I really thought that, yeah.
Dotun: It’s just hard with so many people. That’s tough. I do want to be mindful of other people as well. We’re going to figure out the logistics on how that makes sense. But ideally, that’s what we’re thinking is to have one in Nigeria as well.
Do you have dates picked yet?
Charity: We’ve been aiming for fall 2025.
That just makes the most sense. At some point, our parents had talked about pushing it up. But planning is planning and we know how that goes. I just want to not be stressed and I really want to just enjoy actually planning, which already is… we’ve even talked about certain things and it’s so overwhelming. So I’m like, “If that’s how it feels now in the early stages, I just don’t know how that’s going to be when we actually get to the nitty gritty.” We’re just trying to give ourselves ample time. I think fall 2025 is what we have said from the beginning. It’s what the trajectory is aiming for.
Dotun: I will add on to that. I must, because Charity is so sweet.
But listen, here’s the deal. The average person in a relationship, they date for three, four, or five years, and then they get married and that’s normal. Because you go on a show, they expect you to get right off the rib. I ain’t playing that. I’m going to do what’s best for us. If that happens to be in three years in some crazy way, then that’s just what it is. But we’re going to do what’s best for us no matter what. We’re aiming for fall. If we have to take more time to make it right, we have no problem. We’re going to do what’s best for us no matter what people say.
The fans can wait.
Charity: Truly, they can. They will be all right.
I saw you were at the Bridal Fashion Week. Did you say “yes to the dress” yet?
Charity: I have not.
But I will say, obviously, I’m a person who, if you know my style, I have two extremes. I’m very sleek and classic, traditional, and classy. Then I have the whole high fashion glitz and glam. I think I’ve decided on two separate looks… Obviously, I’m having two separate weddings. But in terms of looks, I’m going to have more than one dress.
I definitely think for the ceremony, it’s going to be more sleek and simple. That way, my photos when I look back are just going to be timeless. Then, when the party time comes, we have the rhinestones and the sparkles and everything that’s glitz and glam will come out.
I’ve been able to narrow down the styles and the designers that I want to do my dresses, which is really exciting because my mood board was all over the place. It’s so funny because that week really did help me. The ones I thought I was going to love, once you put them on, I was like, “Probably not.” And the one that I thought I was going to hate, I put them on and I absolutely loved. It’s always trial and error.
But fashion week, definitely was super fun to experience. I plan on having the actual dress fitting and everything in July-ish. It’ll be my mom and all the girls in my family. Hopefully, at that time, we’ll be able to say yes to the dress.
Can you reveal the brands that you’re considering?
Charity: I can reveal one. I actually went to her show during Bridal Fashion Week. It’s Ese Azenabor. Her dresses were amazing. I got to spend time with her after the show and I talked to her about everything. I set up an appointment with her for later in the summer to draft up a custom look. It’s going to be everything.
What about your looks, Dotun? Are you going with any custom attire?
Dotun: This whole fashion stuff is all pretty new to me. I work from home. I don’t wear suits, and I don’t care for them, really. Up until the last year where I’ve had to for ceremonies and all these appearances. So it’s still new. I’m still learning how all this works. But now I got Garçon Couture in my pocket, I’m going to work with him. And he’s already got the concepts mapped out. I don’t have a team yet, but I’m excited and I trust him.
What about your traditional looks? Do you feel like you’ll be repurposing any outfits from this shoot?
Dotun: I might.
Charity: Listen, I’m the southern one. I really want to have so much fun with our looks.
It’s going to be Southern but traditional. I definitely want to play into the whole Southern Belle theme. We’re just very extra in a way but still classy. And obviously, the looks… I was surprised by the shoot. That was the first time I saw Garçon Couture designs on Dotun and I was like, “This is crazy. This is crazy work in the best way because it was just so beautiful.”
I have ideas now that I’m going to try to influence him a little bit, the vision that I see. But definitely probably repurpose some of them. The white dress with the baby blue and the hat, that was giving little Charleston vibes. I’m here to redo that probably for the wedding rehearsal dinner or a welcome dinner for when everyone gets in town. Something like that for sure.
Dotun: I’ve been looking at some stuff so I have one in mind. I have a picture. I don’t even know how to describe it. But the thing is there’s so many ways to do Nigerian men’s suits. They can look so clean and so sleek, very modern. I think I might go with something more modern. Not so traditional in terms of the whole Agbádá and everything. But something, you got to have the cane and all that stuff. Again, it’s hard to describe, but it’s just these really sleek cuts, really modern, but still long and still paying respect to the culture. That’s where I’m heading towards. Really vibrant colors.
What about your wedding vendors? Will you be prioritizing Black-owned brands?
Charity: It’s the wedding day. I’m sorry. But we ain’t going to play around. Respectfully.
It’s just we have met so many amazing people in the past year alone. Obviously, so grateful for the opportunities that has led us to these people. Because otherwise, again, he is new to all this. I’ve never done a wedding or planned a wedding before. I’m also the first in my family that would be getting married because I have three other siblings. But the whole glam team, the six designers, will be all Black. We’re really looking forward to that. Again, we have a list of people that we really want to, at some point, be able to reach out to and be like, “Yes, we want them for our big day.” Super special.
Looking ahead, what does the future look like for you two? Are you staying in New York or have any exciting business ventures coming up?
Dotun: I mean, we’re taking it year by year.
We’ll see how we feel this year. Maybe we have big life moments or a baby or something that we want to change course then we go somewhere else. But for now, New York is good. Again, trying not to look too far into the future. But I can say that this year’s still going to be crazy. We have a lot of things coming up.
Charity: Praise God.
Dotun: It’s all great. I’m extremely grateful. There’s a lot of cool things coming up.
I know she’s working on a podcast. Potentially one we’re going to do together. My business which is integrative health, I really want to find a way to be able to offer that on a larger scale. Some people I feel need it. That’s just my contribution to the world. She works in mental health. In a perfect world, we can combine both. So those are the ideas that we’re sketching. Again, it’s just been so crazy. Even with my regular job, I’m always playing catch up. So it’s hard to put effort into these new bigger ventures when you want to do it right. But those are the things that we have planned. I’m hoping to get these into the works sometime this year.
Charity: I know a big question a lot of people ask me is am I going back to work?
I don’t plan on doing full-time in the office one-on-one client care, but I was working beforehand in mental health and I was working with children and families in trauma. Beforehand, I wanted to always do forensic interviewing, which is working with kids who come from traumatic situations and you have to do the whole clinical interviewing before they go into the next step which is counseling. I want to start doing that. I definitely think that’ll provide me a little bit more flexibility in terms of just how busy we’ll still be.
But it’ll give me the opportunity to go back to doing what I loved and where my heart was at. That’s on the plan. Dotun mentioned the podcast. We’re just taking it, again, one step at a time. If we move out of New York, it’ll probably be the South. The South or California. We’re open to both. I always say California. I think he hears me talk about it way more than, honestly, the South.
I’m like, “I love California.” I don’t plan on going back to LA. But if we went to the outskirts, I’d be open for that. The weather’s unbeatable over there. But then it’s also like, “Where can we buy a house at?” Definitely, the South. My family’s there. His parents are looking into areas down there too.
What advice would you give to other engaged couples?
Charity: It’s crazy because I always feel my advice is to take as much time to get to know each other but I just feel that’s been our biggest thing because how we met each other was so fast.
But even in general, quality time is something that’s just so important. It’s not just surface level. Take time to get to know each other, get into couple’s counseling, and explore those things that are uncomfortable or that you aren’t used to talking about. I think it’s been really helpful for us to really understand and continue to strengthen our love for each other. I would just say quality time and spending as much time together as possible. Just finding the depths of who the person is that you are spending time and connecting with.
Dotun: Well said. Partly along the same lines, really understanding who that person is.
Understand what their true needs are and work towards that and check in with yourself too, if that’s something you can deliver to them as well to make sure you guys are both on the same page. Don’t rush anything. Don’t listen to outside noise. And don’t listen to too many opinions on the outside. Do what’s going to be best for you and check in with yourself.
Also, do your best to wake up every morning and be grateful for whatever that person brings to the table for you. Every day is not going to be perfect. Some days, it’s going to be tough. You’re going to have tough conversations. When you wake up and go to bed, just meditate on what that person thinks and how much that person loves you, and then move forward with that feeling in mind.
Charity: And have fun.
Dotun: And have fun.
Charity: Really, life is about having fun. You got to have that element.
Dotun: Never settling and letting things get stale.
Charity: Keep the passion alive.
Looking to purchase a copy of Issue 32 featuring The Bachelorette’s Charity and Dotun?
Click here to pre-order a copy from our Muna Shop.
Cover Vendors:
- Cover couple: Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko
- Photographer: Shagari Jackson of Shagari Gerard Photography
- Photography Assistant: Collins Camp of Studio87Media
- Makeup: Felicia Graham Beauty
- Hair: Tinika Sadiku
- Wardrobe Styling for Dotun: Ilbert Sanchez of Garçon Couture
- Wardrobe Styling Assistant: Rachelle Teart
- Suit Designer: Garçon Couture
- Wardrobe Styling for Charity: Gani Shittu of House of Simiraj
- Earrings: Earring Envy
- Aria Top: Andrea Iyamah
- Skirt: Andrea Iyamah
- Hairpiece & bracelet: Ai & Eva Jewelry
- Videography: Mike Okafor Films
- Videography Assistant: Roseline Conteh
- Cover Shoot Location: Spice Island Beach Resort, Grenada
- Horse Handlers: Royan Smith & Johanna Diederichs of Bonanza Stables
- Creative Direction: Jacqueline Nwobu
- Cover Interview: Linda Wallentine
- Publication: MunaLuchi Bride
Leave a Reply