Wedding planning is an incredible journey, but let’s be honest—it’s not always as glamorous as Instagram makes it look.
From balancing budgets to managing opinions (hello, family drama), the process can bring its fair share of stress. And when emotions are running high, even the smallest disagreements can turn into full-blown arguments.
But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be that way. With a little intention and the right tools, wedding planning can be a time to strengthen your partnership—not stress it. Let’s dive into some practical ways to navigate planning with love and teamwork.
1. Start with a Shared Vision
Before diving into the details, take a step back and talk about what really matters to you both. Create a set budget that reflects your values—invest in the things that matter most to you as a couple. What do you want your wedding to feel like? What are the top three priorities for your big day?
When you align on your shared vision, it becomes easier to let go of the smaller details that aren’t as important. For example, if your focus is on creating a fun, relaxed celebration, you might decide that a formal sit-down dinner isn’t a must-have.
Pro Tip: Create a wedding vision board together or write down three words that describe your dream day. Use this as your guide when making decisions.
2. Divide and Conquer—Fairly
Trying to tackle everything together can lead to burnout and frustration. Instead, divide tasks based on your strengths and interests. Maybe one of you loves researching vendors, while the other is great with numbers and handling the budget.
Delegating responsibilities doesn’t mean one person does it all—it’s about working smarter as a team. And don’t forget to celebrate the wins together, no matter how small!
Pro Tip: Schedule a weekly planning meeting to keep each other updated on the progress of your responsibilities. Use a shared wedding planning app or spreadsheet to stay organized and keep communication clear.
3. Pause When Things Get Heated
It’s normal for stress to lead to disagreements, but how you handle those moments is key. Developing a team mindset is essential for navigating conflicts effectively. If a conversation starts to feel tense or overwhelming, take a 10-minute break to consider what is going on underneath the feelings of frustration. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Is there a need that you feel is going unheard? Then, come back together and listen with the intention of understanding each other. Discuss what your underlying feelings are, and create a plan for navigating the issue going forward.
You can use this format for communicating in conflict: “I feel [insert emotion] when [share observation without blame]. I [share need, want, desire].
For example: “I feel overwhelmed with planning the catering details on my own. I really would love your help in navigating this together as we originally planned.”
Pro Tip: Remember that it is “US” versus the “Problem”, not “me” versus “you”. This helps you listen to understand instead of listening to respond.
4. Protect Your Relationship From Outside Opinions
Let’s face it—family and friends mean well, but their input can sometimes add unnecessary stress. If you’re dealing with too many opinions, set clear boundaries as a couple.
For example, you can say: “We really appreciate your suggestions, and we’ll keep them in mind as we make decisions that feel right for us.” This keeps the conversation respectful while reinforcing that the final decisions are yours to make.
Remember: This is your wedding, and it should reflect what matters most to you as a couple. Take time to set expectations on how you want to handle different scenarios with friends and family that may come up. How do you want to handle these situations as a team? Prioritize protecting your bond and the things most important to both of you.
5. Make Time for Fun (That Has Nothing to Do with the Wedding)
Wedding planning can feel all-consuming, so it’s important to take a step back and enjoy each other’s company outside of the process. Schedule a date night where wedding talk is off-limits, or take a weekend getaway to recharge.
These moments remind you why you’re planning this day in the first place: to celebrate your love and commitment.
Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it’s also a chance to grow as a team.
By focusing on clear communication, setting boundaries, and taking time to connect, you can navigate this season with love and intention. Remember, the wedding is just one day—but the relationship you’re building is forever. Stay focused on what matters most, and trust that together, you can handle anything that comes your way.
Meet the Founders of A Soulful Love
Anastacia Sams, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and LaTrease Nwosu, an International Relationship Consultant, are two women deeply passionate about love, commitment, and culturally rooted connection.
Their journey began in 2014 when they met during their master’s program, bonding over their shared dedication to strengthening relationships.
Over the years, as they worked closely with couples, they couldn’t ignore a pressing issue—many premarital programs lacked depth, cultural relevance, and real-world application.
They saw firsthand how the right preparation could transform a marriage, yet too many couples were going without it. That realization sparked a movement.
With hearts set on changing the narrative around Black love and marriage, Anastacia and LaTrease created A Soulful Love’s Foundations for Forever, a comprehensive 12-week program designed to empower couples with the tools, insights, and support needed to build strong, lasting unions.
Their mission is simple: to ensure that every couple enters marriage equipped not just for the wedding day, but for a lifetime together. Because love isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s about building the right foundation.
Click here to learn more about A Soulful Love’s Foundation for Forever program.
(Headshot photo by Delaney Photography)
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