Tomi and Derin (who first met at a mutual friend’s book club on Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown), celebrated their love in an amazing two-day destination wedding hosted at The Rich Hippies House in West Palm Beach.
On Friday evening, the couple hosted an intimate traditional Yoruba engagement ceremony paying tribute to their shared Nigerian roots. Family members flew in all the way from Nigeria dressed in rich blue hues while Tomi and Derin were styled in two different looks.
As a queer couple, we really wanted to reimagine what the Yoruba engagement could look like in a way that felt authentic to us!
– Tomi + Derin
The next day, they married in a garden-style wedding surrounded by their family, close friends, and their dog Whiskey. Highlights included a dear friend serenading guests during cocktail hour.
Tomi wore three dresses on her wedding day while Derin wore a sleek white suit. Derin’s mother prayed a mother’s prayer throughout the evening while family and friends shared heartfelt words for the newlyweds.
Keep scrolling for more details on Tomi and Derin’s beautiful love story.
- Couple: Aderinsola “Derin” Gilbert (they\them) + Tomi Okuyemi (she\her)
- Occupations: Tomi – Elementary School Principal, Aderinsola – Data Operations Manager
- Wedding date: April 27th, 2024
- Wedding location: West Palm Beach \ The Rich Hippies House
Quick Facts:
- Gifts for your wedding party: Supergoop sunscreen, glow oil, and custom fabric fans with our wedding colors that we had custom-made in Nigeria.
- Ceremony entrance song: “Ignited” by Mumbi Kasumba (Aderinsola’s entrance song), “Baby Riddim” (String version – Tomi’s entrance song)
- First dance song: “Forever” by Gyakie
Tell us about the proposal:
Derin: When I first met Tomi – I learned that she was a teacher.
As we were getting to know each other and building our friendship, I got to learn how passionate Tomi is about teaching and her students. I distinctly remember thinking that she must be the type of teacher kids would bring apples to. I would joke with her about how I was going to gift her an apple one day.
When I knew I was going to ask Tomi to marry me, I thought back on those memories. Almost every fall we go Apple picking so I knew I wanted to do it on our annual trip to upstate New York. We collected our bags and set out to a quiet space in the orchard – as she had her back turned, reaching for an apple I dropped down on one knee and surprised her!
Tomi: Somehow, I didn’t see it coming! My favorite part was that the ring was in an apple-shaped box!
Tomi: Even though Aderinsola had already proposed, I knew that I also wanted a special moment for them too!
I had a sapphire ring custom-made by the owner of Love Locked, an amazing jewelry studio in Jersey City. She really got my vision of wanting something elegant but not too girly. On Valentine’s Day, I decorated the apartment, laid a trail of roses, and invited Derin to watch a video I made with special moments from our relationship that ended with a proposal! I loved having that moment just for us.
Describe your wedding style, attire, and wedding shopping experience.
Tomi: Wedding dress shopping was fun but also overwhelming because of so many choices!
I knew I wanted lots of glam but I also wanted a modern look. My long-time friend and bridesmaid, Vincentia accompanied me to most of my appointments. My sister, Toni, and Aderinsola’s mother also joined in. Because my mother isn’t supportive of our relationship, she wasn’t part of the process.
Sometimes looking at other mother-daughter pairs at bridal shops made me feel emotional, so support from my friends, family, and in-laws meant everything to me. In the end, I went with 3 different dresses! A beaded and sequined mermaid ceremony gown, a form-fitting column sheath reception dress, and a satin mini dress for the end of the night.
Derin: My shopping experience was an easygoing experience.
I knew I was going to wear a suit. I knew I wanted a suit made by Bindle & Keep – a custom suit company based out of Brooklyn. For months I had created a Pinterest board that captured some of the looks I wanted to rock – come wedding day.
The ceremony…
Reception…
Outfit change…
Did you incorporate any culture into your wedding?
We are both Nigerian and it was important to us to incorporate our culture because it’s who we are! We had both an intimate engagement ceremony (traditional Yoruba) as well as a garden-style wedding. As a queer couple, we really wanted to reimagine what the Yoruba engagement could look like in a way that felt authentic to us!
Our siblings, parents, and chosen family really came through for us and helped us create an engagement ceremony that felt really special. Aderinsola’s mother and sister were instrumental in helping us put together our traditional outfits and we were both in love with the final looks for the traditional engagement.
What are your best wedding day memories?
During our traditional engagement ceremony – we had a moment where friends and family shared memories of us as a couple, as well as prayers and blessings over our union. It turned into a love fest and there were tears all around. The sense of love and community was so powerful that we were all overcome!
What is the best wedding advice you can give to engaged couples?
Cut that guest list! Our wedding weekend was amazing because we knew each and every person there incredibly well, and we knew they came with 100% positive intentions and supportive energy.
Looking for more queer love stories?
Click here.
Vendors:
- Photo + Video: Nine One Four & Co.
- Planner: MoChar Events & Design
- Venue: The Rich Hippies House
- MUA: S GLAM PRO
- Caterer: Semaj’s One Way Catering
- Cake + Desserts: Ganache Bakery Cafe
- Rentals: Atlas Event Rental
- Florist: Royal Events and Services
- DJ: DJ MP
- Rings: Mejuri | Love Locked
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