There’s often a fine line between the wedding you’ve always wanted and the wedding that your mother never had or the one she’s always dreamed you’d have. Many mothers-of-the-bride are more than excited for their daughter, while at the same time, living a bit vicariously through her. This is all fine and dandy, until what she wants and what the bride wants are almost polar opposites. As a wedding planner, it’s not uncommon to be faced with this scenario and many times we may have to step in as “counselor” because of it. It’s part of the job.
Image Courtesy of Brides.com
Who’s wedding is it really? Well, as much as I’d like to say it’s the bride’s wedding, we have to also take mom’s opinions into consideration, just as the bride does. When mom is footing the bill, she definitely feels that her opinion should be heavily considered. Today’s brides are accessing blogs, Pinterest, and dozens of new magazines for their wedding inspiration, further creating distance between the old and the new. It’s my job to create the perfect wedding while keeping the bride’s interests a priority while also striking the perfect compromise so that ultimately, the bride gets the wedding she’s always dreamed of.
Image Courtesy of: Essence Magazine Online
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, here are five ways to prevent mom from taking over and make it a little less stressful so you can enjoy the planning process.
1. Communication is key.
Let mom know what you’ve always dreamed of for your wedding. I’ve told many of my brides that they should look back at their wedding day and be happy with the photographs and feel the same feeling on the day that they took them. You greatly appreciate your mom by your side throughout the planning process, but a gentle reminder that it’s your wedding should help.
2. Be inclusive.
Include mom in the decisions you value her opinion the most, such as purchasing your wedding gown. This makes her feel as though she’s helping and is a part of the planning process.
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3. Utilize your wedding planner.
As mentioned earlier, your wedding planner is a great buffer between you and your mother. If things get too difficult for you to say, your wedding planner can and should take on that task for you.
4. Put mom to work.
When your mother is occupied with specific tasks and details of your wedding, such as the bridal shower or RSVP’s, she’s less likely to interfere with the choices you’re making.
5. Contribute to the cost of your wedding.
When you’re footing a portion of the bill, mom is less likely to dominate and make the decisions during your vendor meetings. She’ll understand that she’ll have to relinquish some control.
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Lissahn DeVance is a contributor for Munaluchi Bride Online and owner of Atlanta Wedding Planning company, Enraptured Events. To keep up with her, follow her on Instagram or Twitter.
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