When I first heard it declared that marrying in one’s twenties was marrying too young, I was somewhat taken aback. This was mostly because I come from a society (I was born and raised in Nigeria) in which most women prefer – and honestly, are expected – to get married in their early to mid-twenties. For me, marrying in the twenties was just the norm. It’s what I knew. It’s what I was used to. It was what I wanted. It’s what I got – and I am extremely pleased with that, less because of when it happened and more because of who I have the privilege of being with. However, I have been interested in hearing what the reasons are behind the notion that marrying in one’s twenties is marrying too young. I’ve picked up some reasons along the way.
Exploration Period
One of the reasons I’ve heard is that the twenties are best left as years for exploration. It is a period in life in which it isn’t always easy to figure out who you are or what exactly you want out of life. It is a time to explore personal and professional options and gain self-knowledge. It is a time to go out into the world and travel, a time to seek out things that you might never get a chance to find again in the future.
What About Your Friends
Another reason I have heard is that, with the marriage age increasing (particularly in developed countries), being married in your twenties can put a damper on your friendships because you just might be the only one out of your group who is married for a while. This school of thought claims that conversations between single friends and that between married friends is often vastly different. Hence, being the only married one in the group is likely to lead to alienation of friendships in some ways.
Financial Stability
Finally, there is the issue of financial and professional growth which many have stated really begins in the twenties. Many people prefer to begin a marriage with their own money (and a lot of it), and certain rungs up on their professional ladder. They believe that if they marry in their twenties, they will not be starting their marriage journey fully “prepared.”
My Analysis
My take on it is that each person is entitled to do what makes him/her comfortable. I personally do not think that marrying in one’s twenties is marrying too young. I am actually partial to marriage journeys in which each party can state that their personal and professional journeys could not have been possible without the other’s support. Nevertheless, I believe that marriage is so deeply personal and so important that the individuals involved should only embark on it if and when they feel ready to do so. So, if you are ready to take the leap in your twenties, do so. If you would rather take your time, it is your prerogative as well. Don’t wait to do it because it is becoming popular to wait – and don’t take the plunge simply because you are expected to.
Every person is an individual and everyone’s marriage experience, though with parallels, is also unique to the specific couple. Breathe, pray, do some soul searching and make your own decision.
I think this is a great subject to discuss! Young love is interesting and often not fully explored and really thought about in regards to the future. I am learning that marriage (although I am not married) is hard. I always knew it was a serious matter, but it’s not a walk in the park. I do look forward to marriage and dream about the day, but currently I am happy being in a committed relationship and enjoying the time I have to learn about my significant other before taking such a big step. When we get married, divorce is NOT an option (we both feel this way)…so we plan to not say I Do until we both are truly ready!!!
Getting to this point of accepting you’re not ready because you are so in love is not easy…but I truly THANK GOD, that he opened my eyes to show me that I am not ready and we as a couple are not ready. God is good I tell you! lol Kudos to all the successful married young couples…I look forward to the day I get to say I Do to the man I love so much!! :-D
This is such an excellent topic to discuss. Men and women need to take an opportunity to experience life in their single state first. So often, they don’t so that, they rush into marriage for love, and they learn a lot about life and marriage he hard way. It is extremely important to learn some thugs about self, life, and life’s challenges before marriage. When one marrys, life certainly doesn’t get any easier. 20s is not a bad time in all cases. But, I recommend waiting until one has matured and is financially stable as a single person first. Live on your own for a little while. Accomplish some goals on your own first. Then, get married :-)