Love & the Media: Doing Too Much or Doing What’s Necessary?
Some time ago, I came across a very interesting piece of advice while I was browsing the web. I thought it was particularly interesting for two reasons: 1. It came from a very beautiful and talented celebrity; 2. It was so unexpected, particularly coming from her because I would never have thought that she would need to go through all that trouble. That only goes to show that you never really know someone until you know someone.
This celebrity’s advice was a suggestion to wives, according to this blog, StyleMom:
“Be a vision of beauty for your husband; find the perfect shade of lipstick. Wake up 15 minutes before him, brush your teeth, your hair, apply a little lipstick and dab some on your cheeks, lay back down and when he wakes to look at you, all he’ll see and remember throughout the day is how beautiful your [sic] are and cannot wait to get back home to you.”
My reaction when I saw that was honest surprise; I was completely taken aback. To me, that advice is more than a little unrealistic and really takes away the perks of marriage, at least for me. When you get married, you expect to be joined to someone who is prepared to see you in all your beauty, as well as all your mess. You are (hopefully) aligning yourself with someone who truly loves you for you and can bear to look at you in just about every state imaginable.
This is, of course, not to say that wives should not be “visions of beauty” for their husbands. I actually believe the contrary: because it’s so easy to get complacent, women should work harder at keeping themselves radiant. However, extending that need to look ravishing for your husband to the inconvenience of waking up before him just to beautify yourself and mislead him into thinking that you (and your breath) are just that well-put together upon waking up seems a bit much! As my sister who I discussed this with stated, should it also be expected that the men have to go to that much trouble as well? Hmmm …. I also asked my husband his thoughts on this and he agreed that this is never necessary.
Every woman (and man) should feel completely comfortable and just perfect looking like themselves next to a spouse.
So what do you think? Do you think it’s necessary/okay for women to do this or do you agree with me that this definitely doing too much?
photo by Elton Anderson